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I Hope Your Guilt Hurts.
If you think that I'll care when it happens to you,
After the hurt and the suffering you let her go through
After the tears and the pleading that you watched with no heart,
After refusing your help and playing no part...
I remember you talking; I remember - you said:
"Why don't you **** off? Why don't you drop dead?"
I remember you saying with hate in your eyes
That everyone who is on that path dies
I remember you knew that what came would come
I remember you knew just what could be done
To prevent what happened, to save a life
To stop us losing my mother, your wife
I remember my tears, they increased by the day
"I miss her so much," to you I would say
I sobbed in the kitchen and cried down the phone
I begged you to go out and bring her back home
I remember you told me, no remorse in your voice
She'd had her last chance, she'd made her choice
The day that it happened, you took me away
To where we all used to go on holiday
I still have the letter I wrote her that night,
It said that without her nothing was right
"I miss you," I wrote, but it would never be read
Two thousand miles away she was already dead
Two days later, you picked up the phone
And got told of what had happened back home
You cried and I didn't, you wept but I couldn't
You could hacve prevented this and yet you wouldn't
We arrived back home and I sobbed to the others
I sobbed because you'd lost me my mother
You did it too, but when you did I would halt,
How dare you cry when it's all your fault?
How dare you ask me what you had done wrong,
When I went quiet whenever you came along?
How dare you say that you don't know what to do
With your son because this had never happened to you?
People have told me that you aren't to blame
That any other man would have done the same
I've told them they're right, but what they don't know
Is that I blame you just as much as before
You didn't cause it, I understand that
But you could have stopped it, and that's just as bad
The one thing that I refuse to forgive
Is that you could have let my Mum live
I bet you don't know that I'd prepared for you
But as it was her I didn't know what to do
My world fell apart and you did nothing to help
You left me to rebuild it all by myself
But I've done it now, and I don't need you
To do all the things that I intend to do
In the meantime you think that we are fine
But you don't know what's going on in my mind
You don't know that I hold you to blame
For ensuring my live is never the same
I hope your guilt hurts, I hope it eats you inside
I hope that you know she needn't have died
And if you think that I'll care when it happens to you...
Then you do not know the son she gave you.
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