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30/70 Conversation Technique.
You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about themselves and that you should spend most of your time listening and asking questions if you want others to like you. This is true... to a certain extent. People DO like to talk about themselves and they DO like those who listen, ask questions, and seem interested in what they're saying. But...
If you're goal is to charm this lady, you've got to do more than that. You've got to tell her something about yourself. Specifically, you've got to "tell her" that YOU TWO ARE VERY MUCH ALIKE. You do this by making "me-too" statements. That is, it is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation when you can relate yourself to something she's talking about or make yourself seem similar to her.
A good talk/listen ratio would be around 30/70. That is, you want to spend around 30 or 40 percent of the time talking, and about 60 to 70 percent of the time listening. And you should spend as much of that 30 to 40 percent as possible in the "me-too zone."
Imagine you've spent 60 to 70 percent of the time listening to her (really listening and asking questions), and about 30 to 40 percent of the time telling her about yourself. Specifically, telling her about yourself in a way that makes the two of you seem very similar.
This time when she goes home, sits down, grabs something to drink, and starts reminiscing about the date (and you), she's going to have something substantial to think about. She's going to think what a wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn't monopolize the conversation. You didn't bore her with details of your job, your childhood, or the health of your colon.
And because you spent a substantial amount of time pointing out how similar the two of you are, she's going to think that you are very SPECIAL. (After all, you're just like her. You must be.)
People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being similar to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world. I will see you as clever, intelligent, charming, and likeable... because you're like me.
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